Wanted to pop in and say hello and thank you (belatedly) for visiting my thread a while back.
Some thoughts: you know your H is having trouble completely letting go now that the D is done, and he will try to touch and connect a bit now and then even in anger, it probably makes him feel better somehow. And ITA he called about the colleague b/c you still fill a need he can't get filled elsewhere. I also think though it rattles you to hear from him you are adjusting some yourself and that if and when you are truly ready to cut the contact you will. And then you will tell him don't call me any more. And if he still does, technology abounds these days to block him out or at least warn you not to pick up a call from him (be it caller ID or screening by answering machine). OTOH you may get to a place where the contact doesn't rattle you anymore, or he may just stop.
IKWYM about seeing couples your age and thinking "Alas!" I try to remember that #1 I have no idea how rosy their R really is (or not), and #2 who knows what life w/ H would've been like if he hadn't left years ago. IOW trying not to imagine that life would've been a fairy tale if only.
About forgiveness. calder once posted this web site which I found quite good, it may be helpful: www.forgivenessweb.com
"Opposites attract" you say? Research says to the contrary. Let's see how long that one lasts.
