Today I was invited to a friend's house for their Father's Day celebration. There were 30 people, adult children, their parents and even two sets of inlaws were there along with 5 young children. It was the large, warm family gathering I always thought I would be hostessing, but I never did. It was interesting to watch the older couples who were in their 70's; the relationships were so normal and ordinary and good. I realized, once again, that I had not have a normal marriage. I saw a step-father who gently put his hand on his college age step-son's back when he was talking to him and the boy smiled. I heard one of the couples in their 70's joke about sexy nightgowns. I heard these same couples sit around and talk about their blood pressure and their lasik surgeries. And I realized that I never had normal husband who would accept others into his home or his conversations. Seeing these things, I think the door is slowly closing for me. As someone said here, I loved my H but I could not go back to the R we had, I could not pretend to be happy.
NLF
You must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. ---Leonardo da Vinci
