I know that I have to decide how to proceed with any future R with xh. My therapist, who has kept me on an even keel through all this, says that the most important thing is that I protect my emotional health. This means that I if I am uncomfortable with attending a specific event (Baptisms, wedding of friends's adult children) I should just not attend. I think that over time, I will be able to tolerate these events, but probably not in the next year or so. If xh decides to attend with ow, that I would have a problem with.
For now, I am going very dark. I can not imagine any reason for contact.
If xh tries to "be decent" it still would probably be alot of ego. Why should I accept that from him, a man who wounded his family so much, when I would never tolerate it from passing acquaintance? I overlooked alot for the sake of the marriage. I will always try to do what I can to keep things easy for my family, but I will stand up for my feelings too.
I think it will all play out ok.
NLF
You must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. ---Leonardo da Vinci
