I had to met stbxh at Perkins; he needed my signature on a check. He was pleasant and so was I. I signed the check. Then he started to "report" to me the details of his attempts to phone each of the Ss. "He left a message for one and has not heard back. He attempted to schedule a visit with S living in Denver; (son said he would be coming home this summer and would see him then.) He offered to help eldest son move; (eldest politely declined). Here is where I got in a "dig". I said "Well, he has his other family (wife's parents) to help him with those things now." ((This is a real sore spot with me becasue I know that I'm missing out on those simple family type events and projects.))
H did not say anything. Then he pulled out his phone and started playing around with the address book. I put up with that behavior for about 10 seconds and said "well, I'm leaving, good bye." and I got up a left.
Obviously, he is trying to keep some kind of relationship with Ss. And they are in the driver's seat as far as setting parameters. They will have to come to terms with all this in their own time.
It was so strange to see him just start playing with his phone. It reminded me of something a junior high age boy would do when he got bored with his surroundings. H was always someone who was so 'on task' and in the moment. I don't think the guy ever daydreamed. Boy, is he making up for lost time.
NLF
You must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. ---Leonardo da Vinci
