Thank you so much for sharing this so honestly and in so much detail. I can only imagine how awful those first mediation sessions--I can easily picture myself crying through them as well.
I think I am going to have to make this call fairly soon, and your sharing is very helpful. I have what I lovingly refer to as an "anti-divorce" divorce attorney. But he is "mature", quite experienced and comes recommended. I suspect my H's attorney is sharper and younger, but not as experienced.
Like you, my main concern is with giving H time to reconsider. Or at least to feel what it is he is doing. I am dragging my feet as subtly as I can, and have instructed my L to do likewise. I have heard the advice in several places that women do less well financially as time goes on. To be honest, the financial affairs are the least of my worries. I do have a S13 who is so opposed to a D. The conflict in our M was silent and S was shocked and very upset when we had to tell him H was moving out and wanted a D. And H has done this before, 21 years ago, persuading his 1st W of 11 years to collaborate so he could feel like it was a "we" decision. So I am shooting toward a middle ground, no upfront mediation, but only gentle contesting, making H do most of the dirty work of filing, making the first offer, and so forth.
Anyway, I don't want to clutter your thread with my ruminating, but it is helpful to me to hear your reasoning, and I thank you again.
