New to Piecing

[tyler]

Lights,
Thank you for your post. My W has told me that the biggest hurdle we have is the damage from emotional abuse, she just can't get past it at this point. I don't call her names and we don't yell, scream or anything like that, but I have made the mistake of saying, 'that's your opinion, mine differs' and things like that.

I need to learn to shut up and just tell her I understand and I'm sorry.

Thanks for your post, very helpful.

[AmyC]

COG ~

How are you doing this week?

[princess_nic]

Happy New Year, COG. It will be a good one.

I'm still praying for you, and just wanted to check in.

Blessings,
Nicola

[Tamashii]

COG,

I hope that you can come to realize what an illusion sex is.

I'm not saying it isn't nice, that's not good or anything like that.

But it isn't worthy of the pedestal we've put it on.

I let my sexual appetites contribute to the ruin of my relationship. I realize I was living in a room full of mirrors.

You have that woman there. Treasure that. If you can't, learn how. Accept what you have. When you can do that things will change.

David

[COG]

Friends,

Thank's for checking up on me and Happy New Year to you all! We've been on vacation this week so that's why I have'nt checked in. We had a great time together, as usual. Traveling is something we do VERY well as a family. It's quite a blessing.

W and I had a convo not long ago. I asked her what she needed from me. She reiterated that she loves me, she wants our M to work out, but she just can't find the right feelings to be physically intimate. I asked her if she would be more likely to find the feelings if I stopped pursuing her, or if I continued pursuing. She said very convincingly that it would more likely happen if I was not pursuing her.

So, I've backed off, and stopped initiating physical contact. It was a difficult adjustment for my ego, but like my sweet AmyC always says "I'm over it". We'll see how things go, one day at a time. Right now I'm doing very well with it. It's not about me, it's not my problem, I just need to let go and let God work.

I am so blessed in my M and my family that if it means my sex life exists only when I'm alone in the shower then so be it. I'll survive. I can't justify leaving my beautiful family just for sex.

My W and I love each other, and are working on accepting the cards we've been dealt. Every facet of our R, except physical intimacy, is fulfilling and positive for both of us. There are definately times of frustration, but I'll bet many less than sexually active couples that lack in some other facets of their R. I'll take my sitch over many others that I've encountered.

I am truly thankful for the supporting friends that I have in you. Tamashi, your words were especially meaningful for me today. God bless you all. I'll be checking up on your sitch's as soon as I can.

Love,

COG

[Tamashii]

but she just can't find the right feelings to be physically intimate.

COG, my friend, what this tells me is that she's LOOKING!

It's only a matter of time until she FINDS!

This is also time to discipline yourself. Your appetite must meet and meld with her appetite. Maybe you are at '10' and she is at '0' right now. With your unconditional love, self discipline and understanding, perhaps you will soon meet at '5.'
I pray this for you.

David

[Heywyre]

I would be happy meeting at "1" at this point

[amd]

Just a thought: is there any physical reason that she might not have much of a sex drive right now? Hormones are weird things.

[AmyC]

Lovely update to read COG. Good for you.

Busy at the office so I can't stick around. Just wanted to check in on you.

Have a blessed week!

Amy



OH! P.S. ~ I ain't sweet.

[Tamashii]

I would be happy meeting at "1" at this point

I'd be happy with a phone call!

David