New to Piecing

[COG]

brandnewday,

Well I'm very glad for your H that you figured things out, and realized how important sex is to him.

A woman takes her time and sometimes almost has to be coaxed into it.

You're preaching to the choir here. I've ALWAYS been the coaxer in our M, except maybe twice in 17 years. I really don't mind coaxing her, but the problem is she does'nt want to be coaxed. It bothers her to be coaxed.

It is like jumping into a swimming pool. Once you take that first step you find out that you actually like it, it's just getting to that point.

I wish that were true with my W, but it does'nt seem to be. I "coaxed" her into ML a few months back. I thought it was nice, she got into it, but I paid for it next morning. She was very cold, and offish, like I forced her or something. She cooled offed eventually, but that was the last time she let me try to coax her. I've asked if there was something I did that she did'nt like, or whatever. She says no, she's just not into it.

How do we get your wife to listen and actually hear what you are saying?

She listens and hears alright. She knows exactly how it hurts me, how I feel about it, she's just not willing, or able to change. I think the real question is, how to help her or motivate her to change.

She's of the mind that things should just flow naturally. It should just be easy, we should'nt have to work at it. That's a difficult attitude for me to accept too. I've worked pretty hard the last few years, and I'm a much better person because of it. If I had'nt worked at it, I would'nt have changed.

BUT if you read the books I have recommended you will see that a woman works differently then a man does in the bedroom.

I'll get the books and read them. I'll keep working at it.

I think I'll share some of your posts with my W.

Thank You, God Bless,

COG