In regards to sex, I think woman have two different schools of thought.

They think that men only see it as a means of physical release, so they "allow" their Husband to have sex with them and grin and bear it.

They also use it as a "reward" or a tool to manipulate.
Not as an act of love.

While on my own little journey of self, I did so much reading and stopped trying to learn about MLC but rather about myself.

Taking that hard look at myself and seeing who I really was.
Nope, it wasn't very pretty

Much like you I saw that there were many times that my Husband tried so hard to please me and I did not appreciate his efforts or make him feel loved.

I will not make any excuses but having so many children back to back, I made my "mommy" role the priority not my role as a "wife".

The second school of thought , which is where I am now, is that once you take that plunge and actually get into it, it really can be fun and very gratifying.

It also is a great stress reliever during PMS and it helps so much to build the bond which was broken.

I want to be a part of that enjoyment with my Husband and I want that connection with him. I now hear so many wonderful things and he is much more willing to please me because I have become receptive to his needs as well as my own.

It is a choice.

For women they need to have sex with their Husbands.
Either do it willingly and reap the wonderful rewards not only physically but emotionally too, or do it and complain about it and act like a freaking martyr and watch your marriage crumble.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.