Hi COG
(Seems like we are all coming out of the woodwork)!

I just read your post and I am pleased that you and your wife are becoming best friends again, that is wonderful.

I am a little hesitant about posting to you because most of my posts to you get ignored but I will go ahead and see what happens...

I am sorry that the one area that is lacking is taking so long to get to. I haven't read the SSM myself but have read great reviews about it.

Whilst going through my 2 years of celibacy I read some things on www.themarriagebed.com that helped me to understand things a little better.

I had no idea that men and women view sex so differently. I didn't realize that for men sex is also an emotional experience as well as a physical one.

During the marriage, before MLC, I was the LD partner and was so busy with the children, the house, and all of the other things I really had no interest in sex.

I spent alot of time in the evenings just cuddling up with my Husband, watching TV, we went on dates and really had fun together, but sex was something that I feel I almost had to be coaxed into.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it once we got there but was usually so fatigued that it really was of no importance to me.
I had a frustrated Husband!!
But I was too selfish to recognize this was a huge problem.

I guess it wasn't until the bomb was dropped and we were separated that I actually began to miss the physical intimacy.

I also have used the past couple of years to work on myself, and do 180's that actually surprise myself.
My Husband is thrilled with the changes and tells me all of the time how happy he is with me.

I am sharing these things with you because it is my own opinion that your wife needs to just take the plunge and do it.
Kinda like stepping off of a diving board.

Sometimes you just have to talk yourself into it and step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.

I am sure you want her to be the one to initiate when she is truly ready to be comfortable with sex again and I know you are a very patient man.

I know you are very happy with all that you have accomplished so far in your relationship and you really have come full circle.

But there are needs that we all have.

Maybe I am rambling on now, and forgive me if I am not making sense.But there needs to be action behind the words.

If you keep on telling her what you need and she is listening and not doing anything about it do you not find yourself being ignored?
Do you not find this behavior selfish?

I say this only because I saw alot of the damage in my marriage was caused by own selfish ways and not taking my Husband's into consideration.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.