New to Piecing

[COG]

Journal: Well we had a very nice Thanksgiving, but a little fireworks yesterday.

This is the first TG that we've done for the family at our house. We had about 20 people over. About six stayed at our house for a few days. It was stressfull at times, but mostly fun. W and I worked very well together the whole time.

So along comes Saturday night. I have this habit, which I really need to let go of, of talking about how I used to enjoy our old sex life. I think it makes her uncomfortable, and it's definately pressure on her. So Sunday morning I could tell W was a little distant from early on and it just kept getting worse as the day wore on. I'm busting my butt putting things away, organizing the garage and she's cleaning the house. But she's just not being very nice. She's snapping at me and just not appreciating me much at all.

So I ask her what's up and I get the "nothing" routine which is very old. So I split and go into town for awhile then come back. The more I think about it, the more ticked I get because I busted my a?? for her the whole weekend and now she's getting bitchy with me. So I pull her aside for a talk.

The gist of it went that she basically says that I'm sort of in her space. I say OK I can deal with that, but that she did'nt have to be a bitch about it. Yes, I actually called her a bitch, which is basically how she was acting. She stomped around a little and brought up some very OLD stuff to try to gain the offensive but I would have nothing to do with it. I was very calm when I told her that "if she wants to live in the past, and carry that garbage with her then that was her choice." She snapped back that people just "don't drop the past and move on like nothing ever happened". I responded that I have a differing opinion, which I did not share with her.

I stood my ground which has been unusual for me over the past couple of years. I drew the line in the sand. Let her know that I was'nt going to allow her to be bitchy with me. That all she has to do is be polite about it if I'm in her space or if I've done something to hurt her. Note that I am very supportive of her bitchiness when it's PMS EVERY month, but this was'nt PMS. It was her deflating after a long weekend with relatives and I just happened to be her whipping boy.

So anyway, she left for a half hour and I took a nap. When she got back, I apologized for calling her a bitch and she apologized for being a bitch. The rest of the night was warm and cozy.

It's hard to set those boundaries sometimes but it's important to do it. It would have been easier for me to just suck it up, but sometimes you've got to stand up for yourself.

I love my W!

God Bless,

COG