Man, you have the patience of a saint. I wish I had some advise to offer, but don't really know what I would do in your situation. It is absolutely foreign to me.
When my w/xw finally started thinking about "us" again and said that she loved me, I came home from out of town and she took me to bed right away for sex. I guess I've always felt that the physical intimacy went hand in hand with emotional intimacy. When my wife was not feeling the emotional side of it, the physical side waned. So I would never have felt like we were truly connected unless we had the physical as well. I have to admire your perseverence. I probably wouldn't be with my wife if it was just words without any action. But maybe for some couples it just takes more time and a different road. When her heart is completely in it, her body I would think would naturally follow.
I love how you stated your needs to her and came up with a potential solution. Hopefully that works out for you. My only suggestion is to perhaps post in the sexual difficulties area and see if you can get some useful feedback. I guess I would also suggest engaging in foreplay that she can't resist.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
