New to Piecing

[COG]

We're making progress. I'm currently going through a 12 step Alanon program. One of the first things that hit me was that I'm not responsible for somebody elses feelings or actions. I'm a good man, good father, good H. There are not very many men out there that would have the kind of devotion that I've shown my W over the past 6 years. I'm a good bread winner, responsible, physically fit, morally good natured, and spiritually growning and connected. That my W does'nt have the "feelings" she wants, is HER responsibility not mine. Just thinking that lifts a lot of pressure off my shoulders. I'm doing very well, feeling great, and doing the right things. I am very happy with myself right now, and I'm not going to be drug down by anyone else's weaknesses.

Now, that does'nt mean I don't love, honor, and respect my W. I do. I am gentle, caring, supportive, and patient. I have'nt been pushing at all, but I'm doing a soft 180 on that. I kind of reached a boiling point last week, and I'm glad I waited a few days before I approached her to talk about it. I prayed that God give me the right words to speak to her.

I acknowledged to her how I understand that she does'nt feel like it, that she's uncomfortable with it, not ready for it. I also acknowledged how busy she is, and how tired she can get. Then in the most sincere and determined words, I explained how important it is for ME to have some physical interaction. I explained how it is something that I dearly miss, and what messages I'm missing. So, I neatly proposed that we have a little fun night once a week. I promised that she was free to read or do anything she wants six nights a week and I would'nt pursue her at all, but on the seventh night, we play. To my delight and surprise, she quickly answered OK.

So, we had our first fun night this weekend, and it was delightful. She is clearly uncomfortable, we did'nt get to home plate, but I'd say we made 2nd base. I'm feeling a whole lot better today than I did last week. It's amazing how a little naked frolicking can recharge the batteries.

I'm praying for God to bless me with the kind of feelings a H should feel for his W, and for my W the kind of feelings a W should feel for her H.

God Bless,

COG