COG, I totally could've written your post about my own situation with my H, as far as how I feel about us and how he doesn't feel, etc.
It's everloving torture, that is for sure, and I don't have half as much time logged in the post-bomb era as YOU have -- so I know you're frustrated. I'm rooting for you; keep us posted!
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3