Personally, I think asking someone to "accept me as I am" is ridiculous. And I've done it before! lol

Maybe, Jules, he's just feeling like you want to do an overhaul on him. First you schnarch the hell outta him on the sex issue and it appears you may be gearing up towards another one with respect to the recreation issue. Maybe he just wants to be allowed to be an antisocial grump without fear that you are going to make it a Marital Issue.

My H is also an antisocial grump. For the longest time, I fought this battle. Eventually I gave it up. I go to weddings alone. On social occasions (barbecues and whatnot) he may or may not go with me and I usually don't know until the last minute. Sometimes he will go and get resentful and be an ass the entire time.

I have completely dropped this rope. I am used to going places alone now and I think people are used to seeing me solo, or with the kids. It sucks but what can I do?

I can't make every personality discrepancy between us An Issue. I just can't. I will destroy everything good between us and it aint worth it. At some point, I *do* have to accept that his way, although obviously wrong , is his way and that's that. He has started to make overtures in the last few years towards wanting to be more social and there is MUCH less complaining, but that's only after I completely dropped it.

I don't know if any of this applies to you or not and I could be reading waaaaaaaay too much into your original post, so ignore me if it doesn't resonate.

About the needling...is this something your inlaws do? Could he have been pulling a When In Rome thing? Or was he all alone in his grumpiness?

HP