Quote: This is beautiful. Here, I said something I thought was clear as day and you go "huh?" Yup. You're right. It seems to be the difference between male and female.
There are two things I picked up on in your first post: ->Why does H feel that I don’t accept ‘who he is.’ and ->when others were around – was not acceptable
"accept" and "not acceptable" Translation: His mouth is part of who he is. You found what he said unacceptable. Therefore, you don't accept him for who he is.
It's as simple, cut and dry, black and white, as that. Think "legalistic." Think "technicallity."
Tom,
Here is where we are crossing wires. I can accept him without accepting all his behavior. When I say I do accept him – I am thinking about acceptance on a deeper level – the man he is, his strengths and weaknesses, ideas and philosophies, preferences and dislikes. I still allow room for things that he does or says that I dislike. Accepting someone does not mean that I have to put up with disrespect or inconsideration.
I don’t think it is so black and white. BUT – thank you for your point of view. This may very well be why my H says that I don’t accept him. We are back in a good space, so maybe I will talk to him about this and see if we can understand each other better.
