This is beautiful. Here, I said something I thought was clear as day and you go "huh?" Yup. You're right. It seems to be the difference between male and female.
There are two things I picked up on in your first post: ->Why does H feel that I don’t accept ‘who he is.’ and ->when others were around – was not acceptable
"accept" and "not acceptable" Translation: His mouth is part of who he is. You found what he said unacceptable. Therefore, you don't accept him for who he is.
It's as simple, cut and dry, black and white, as that. Think "legalistic." Think "technicallity."
The game: We (men) hear women complain in general about not being accepted for who you are. Not accepting is a "bad thing". He caught you not accepting. That gives him the right to play victim.
There may also be the attitude "If women expect men to participate in women's emotional world then men should have the same rules as women." Many men have, over the years, innocently done something they thought was nice and then had the woman blow up in his face for being insensitive. Even if you haven't done that, the perceived "man/woman" rules include it. He's playing the male/female game with the new perceived rules and he plans to win.
I'm somewhat sympathetic towards his point of view.
