Hmmmm... Have you ever discussed your anger and fear related to her not initiating with her? Maybe this is something to open up about with her...
BTW, given your comments, frequency may be a problem. Many women need to be getting it regularly to want it. So, the pre-sex passion and intimacy may actually work better after you have sex (like the next morning) as long as it is followed up with more sex...
Yes, a lot of this is an issue inside you, but you knew that. Also, *part* of that issue likely has arisen because of the patterns in your old M, part is probably older. It is all related...
BTW, if you look at studies, most women prefer your body type to that of OM. So, try to be more confident. Truly, self-deprecation is not attractive, self-affirmation is (without going over the top). I think you've already seen positive results of doing a bit of self-affirmation
