I'm fairly certain that this is exactly how my H feels:
Quote: In my case, I am ALWAYS the one to initiate and like your H, that hurts me a lot. It makes me feel like not only does she not like me enough to initiate, but that she doesn't even LIKE sex so why bother.
It helps to have a man's view on this subject. The thing is I don't know why I never initiated. Sure, I was too tired most of the time from running the house and the kids and all. Mostly I took my H and my M for granted. I never really thought that one day my H would look elsewhere for love. I really love my H and I love being with him. Once we "did it" I was always thinking wow, we really should do this more often. Ya know?
In any case, I don't think we are ready for intimacy yet. We are still working on our friendship. Even though he is the one who strayed from our M, I am the one that can't be trusted. H needs to feel safe around me. Just because I have been nice and calm the last few days does mean I won't flip out by next week. He is protecting himself from me and my emotional outbursts. Once I prove that I have a handle on myself I think things will eventually move forward for me.
As for your W, she is probably feeling a lot of guilt. She can't be feeling very good about herself and questions why you would even want to be with her. Make her feel loved and accepted thru your words and actions and continue to do nice things for her. Eventually the pain of what she has done to her family will diminish and she will feel good enough about herself to be really loved by you.
Anyway, we've gone without it for this long so what's a few more hours/days/weeks
