PL, no, I know women treat these things differently. I am just saying that the specific undies I have seen recently are not like even the usual sexy stuff she has always worn and come on, TINY little t-back hot pink undies with a big heart on the front...well, excuse me if I think it's a little strange to buy those for yourself. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, I want to be past that.
This addresses OT's post a little as well. My W is a beautiful, sexy woman with GREAT self-esteem issues. She hates her body, thinks she's fat, has no boobs, big butt, skinny legs, etc. It's a bane of my existence because I, and everyone else on the planet, thinks she is hot as hell. I have learned to temper my "you're being stupid, you're beautiful" comments since all this started by validating a LITTLE bit so I am not telling her she is wrong to FEEL a certain way but in the end, it is just foolish that she can't see how wonderful she is. I know a LOT of women have that problem but it's frustrating to men who see them as the desirable women they are.
I know in the past I have not DONE what I needed to do to convey this feeling to my W. I simply argued with her and made fun of her for thinking something so silly like she was fat or somehow not perfect. I now know this was wrong to do and have made great strides in trying to do and say the right things.
As for the things to do to "ignite" her, like I said to OT, I have done most all of them. It just seems like she really doesn't notice, or even see me as someone who matters when they do certain things. Does that make sense? I KNOW, like I said, that I am good looking and worth of that kind of attention. I am in great shape and I think I project confidence these days but everything I do to induce romance stops short of registering with her.
I want to clarify my post to OT and this one a bit. I am convinced that with time, OR an open conversation about all this, my W will come around. I am stressing a bit about all this because, well, I am impatient and want things to change now...lol.
No, really, I THINK I know some of the issues that made me feel like my W didn't like ML and why we didn't do it that much. It wasn't hard to figure out when I looked back at our life together from a different perspective...hers. When I say to OT that I am trying some of the "old" things again, I just do that a LITTLE bit (i.e. say certain things or give that "special" back rub) VERY rarely to see if that's what she is still looking for to let HER know that I am ready for us to resume intimacy on all levels. The rest of the time, I am constantly trying different things to see what might be the key. Maybe that's wrong thinking on my part. I know if the roles were reversed I would surely be looking for something I knew to be a sign that she was ready to move on.
Again, the direct approach seems needed right about now as all my tunnels seem to be cheese-less.
