OT, I never really know what to expect from you. I really like the way you portrayed that and it's really close to what was going through my head yesterday. I didn't get angry, even inside. I was just saddened by the realization, that as you said, I will probably be feeling like this for a LONG time. I think, IF she DID see him, it was for all those reasons. I truly don't think she has any intention of being with him from this point forward but I also think she feels like if she manages to cut him off softly, that some of the "obsessive" and maybe even dangerous aspects of this guy will not affect our family. I think that is ludicrous but since she is not sharing that part of things with me, I am left to wonder and worry a little.
Right now I am good with having stated my boundary. Since she agreed that it would be best not to see him at all anymore, I will just trust her to do that and to tell me if she doesn't. I am not going to "enforce" it any more than that, i.e. calling her on suspicions, etc. I will just do what I have been doing and let it ride for the time being. I agree, there WILL come a time should this continue, where I will have to step up and DO something in terms of boundaries, etc but for now, they are out there (boundaries) and we'll see what happens.
I am hopeful and confident that she will do the right thing sooner rather than later.
