The funny thing about this withdrawal stage is that in 'conventional' terms, that is off this bb and when talking to anyone else about separation and marriage, one would think that withdrawal is NOT a good sign. Here you may have had a separated spouse who was contacting you on a regular basis, showed signs of attachment etc, and then he/she disappears. That does not seem good. Yet in MLC language it is part of the journey and may be just what they need to do in order to come back. What are we to believe?
Unless this happens quickly, and is over before we are quite done analyzing what is going on (nice thought/not likely) then in my experience, the only thing that we can do is to go on as if they actually are not coming back. That is to concentrate on ourselves and not them. In withdrawal, there is less analysis to do b/c they are just gone leaving fewer clues to sift through. In some ways it is easier for us to learn about detaching under the circumstances. And this concentration on ourselves is not selfish, not leaving responsibilites behind, but is saving ourselves and rebuilding out shattered lives. It is healing from craziness. So once again, their MLC journey causes us to have to react, and each stage I guess has its own reaction. Whatever they are doing in withdrawal - w/ op or sitting in a cave - this is time for us. xxx Amy
