About 2 years ago H had signed up for an online dating service. We went to MC and he said he wanted to work on our M. I can't say when it started after that but thinking back he started pulling away from me - playing video games for extended periods, etc. I came home on Jan. 25th to find a note and he had moved out all his stuff, for 4 days no one heard anything from him. When he did start talking, I was a mess and did everything wrong (couldn't stop crying, begging, etc.). I heard at that time he didn't do anything but go to work and to the apartment. His first few emails were only "sorry, sorry" (till I told him to act like a man and stop apologizing <sigh>). His parents asked him what his plans were and he said just living day to day. He is going to a C. He told me once that he was going to a poker game with some friends since he was tired of staying in the apartment. I know I did a lot wrong and might have drove him deeper into the tunnel. He did email me back if I emailed him but he says he can't handle me if I become emotional. I found this group after that and realized what I think is going on. Now, I just want to repair the damage. I haven't emailed him in two weeks and he has stopped even emailing his D (who wasn't answering but has kept everyone - mainly notes saying "I love you and am thinking of you", "I am proud of you". He will not even pick up the phone or answer emails from his parents. When someone said about his parents and him, I totally agree. I tell them what I find out on this board about MLC. Unfortunately, I do have a tendency to go overboard on explainations when I am emotional so I probably said wayyyy too much when I first talked to them about his walking away. I am scared that H will never email me but I know that is probably irrational. I just hope that I can handle things when he does show back up. (for the record no one I know wants me to go back to him because he was always distant - I found out later that he was a real momma's boy, could do no wrong, and that at 28 years old, he had only been on his own for 6 months. I guess I was a mommy replacement) I believe it may be quite awhile before he comes out. My D did not want him at her Confirmation. H came but hid in the back and one of the teacher's blabbed. D was furious. I tried to tell her that her dad loved her and wanted to see her and if the teacher hadn't said anything she wouldn't have known. I wonder if H saw D, me, his parents (they flew in) and some friends all together without him. Now our D is graduating from Jr. High and I know she will not want him there unless he starts working on it but he isn't. I wish I knew what he was thinking! Is he depressed about the upcoming events he is missing? or out trying to medicate himself? I am trying to distance and not care but want so bad to do something!!!
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
