Hi. I haven't posted in a long while, but I find this thread very interesting. I had hoped I'd have more wisdom to impart, but it seems now that I'm not where I thought I was.
I was sure my H had hit depression and withdrawal earlier this year. I saw a marked depression - much more intense than any other time since he left last year. Pretty soon I stopped getting contacts from him. This lasted for about 2 months where I basically got 2 or 3 phone messages from him and that's it. I was feeling pretty good because I had figured he was going through the process. One day out of the blue he contacted me and told me he wanted to work on us. It Shocked the hell out of me. Finally, I thought, he's going into acceptance.
He was very nice and called daily for a few weeks then his attitude changed. He stopped bringing up getting back together and just from his voice I didn't feel like he wanted to anymore. It's been over a month since then and though I hear from him more than before, it is not the same. So while I thought he went through the steps, maybe he hasn't? It seemed so clear at the time - such marked changes between stages, but now I'm not so sure. Perhaps this is cycling now, or perhaps this is the revisiting of the steps in acceptance, or perhaps this is still replay. I have no idea.
So while it may seem like you can tell where they are, I guess you really can't. Too bad we all can't get a timeline and calendar so we can stop all this guessing! I suppose this should give us more incentive to get on with our own lives and stop living through our spouses. Now, how do I do that? LOL!
