H, They will pop in and out. There will be times he'll phone you and then disappear for days or even weeks. The same applies to emails and actual visits. It's when they feel a little bit better and the depression lifts. It only has to lift a little bit for them to peek out.
It's very frustrating when the pop in and out, but they do it throughout the three stages. Eventually they will settle down and begin to feel better about themselves and life in general. The more the depression lifts, the more you'll have contact w/them.
Oh, your h is definitely doing some thinking. They do tend to cry quite often while in crisis. You may or may not see this. They have a terrible time behind close doors and especially at night. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do for them. They have to figure this one out all on their own. We can only be there, if and when, they pop out for a short visit from OZ.
If you read any of the books on depression, you will find withdrawal in there as well. It's very common place w/depression and not just w/mlc. Of course, mlc is driven by depression and because of the six stages, posters immediately think each stage is a separate stage, which they aren't. The stages tend to confuse posters until we advise them not to look at them as separate, i.e., step by step, but a lot of the stages are "blended" together which makes it harder to determine where the mlcer may be on any given day.
Continue to be a friend, just listen and validate him right now. He's going through a rough patch. Allow him to come to you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
