Hi Frank....it's been a while since I've posted (and maybe that's a good thing for you), but first, congrats on all your progress. You were in such a horrible "stuck" phase before, and things are really moving, but still frustrating, I can understand. BUT, I wanted to say BRAVO to you, thumbs up, a perfect 10, and all that good stuff for being the BEST H alive. If you can, please drop by my thread to give a MALE perspective if you can...I sure would appreciate, feeling confused at H's talk/signals. I'm trying to take your lead in patience and just being a great person.
OK, have to say, the ONE time I really laughed and nearly spit my wine (horrible) was your DONKEY comment.
OK, that's done....no more laughing. I wish I could tell you what women like in bed, I could, but your W has issues from her childhood so I would be all wrong. You know, you're right in what you said. You have the basic idea, you know what she DOES NOT like due to trauma....you're a guy with hormones and desires....so YOU CAN figure this out. It's not brain surgery. I think you're right, it's about HER pulling HER barriers down, not about YOU doing the right thing. For some reason, I sense that she's feeling "in control" of life for the first time, and she's controlling...so dictating how the M shoudl work, her sexual needs (not sexuality, as you stated, VERY different topic and not one you need to worry about), timing, in love, not in love, etc.
It's frustrating, b/c you're expecting this to be logical. You said you were an engineer, right? Not always so. She's still testing, watching, thinking, dealing with issues. Good for you, at least she's sincere. But, bottom line, I think she's handling "being in control" for the first time, of her own life. She's waving that light sabor around, getting a feel for it, for how it makes you act, the kids act, the impact on her life. In my M, I did the same thing, to an extent.
So, give her some time. Pretty soon, the time will be right for you to show her, or C, that you need to work as a TEAM, and STILL maintain control and independence to a degree.
Hang in there Frank. You've turned the impossible upside down, and we all have hope through you. You are a VERY patient man. Vent here, be the best H you can be at home.
