The other nite W and I were sitting, watching a TV program together. SHe asked me to massage her feet so I did. While in the middle of this she asks me what I'm thinking about. I really am not thinking of anything and I say 'nothing really'.
She tells me she doesn't believe me, I'm not being honest, etc. , starts to become annoying. So I pause. I look at her feet with their red nails and then at her and I say:
"Well, your feet are kind of sexy and when I look at you, I think about rubbing more than just your feet with my body".
She says "Well see, you were honest". She goes into this diatribe about how I'm not willing to tell her what's really on my mind and other stuff like that. She doesn't seem to be able to accept that I don't think about her all the time. So, I let her talk and I validate but I also point out that I really DON'T have something on my mind ALL the time.
So I massage her feet for another 10 minutes. She asks me if I want a foot massage and I say "No, my feet are fine, they don't need to be rubbed". So she says "I bet you need something else rubbed". More teasing. I tell her she is being a tease and she says she's sorry.
So we watch some more TV, I go put D10 to bed and come back downstairs and sit with her some more. After a while she looks at me, reaches over and grabs my shirt and pulls me on top of her, then starts 'seductively' kissing me.
Well, uh? What? Ok, I go with the flow, but I do play a little hard to get...
One of the kids comes downstairs so of course we have to get to opposite sides of the couch since they aren't supposed to know we are doing anything to reconcile. "In case it doesn't work out". Don't want to get their hopes up you know...
After they're gone, it's back to watching TV again. Oh well.
11ish it's time for bed, so we go to our (my) room, in bed, lights out. Laying on our 'sides' of the bed. She moves over and puts her arm around me. She does this sometimes when we go to bed. Likes to cuddle a little.
Then she says "Come on cowboy, what are you waiting for?"
Well, you don't have to tell me twice!
Later, I'm trying to figure out how we went from "I'll never feel it" to "let's do it" in 24 hours. Hard to trust her right now. The past 2 days she has been more comfortable with me, she really seems to be acting as if she is in the marriage. We are still 'secretly' kissing or hugging so the kids "Don't catch us". But she has warmed up a lot more. No ML since 2 days ago though.
She's going away today for the weekend with D10 and her Girl Scout troop to a big mega campout till sunday. So far, whenever she goes away she comes back more distant. So I'm setting my expectations carefully.
So, the rollercoaster is still going, and going, and going....
