huge turning point for you both - I guess by now most people know that I believe that we can't fix the past so should not focus on it too much - but there are exceptions to this and what happened to your wife (and Nicola) as a child is definatley one of those exceptions - this is not an area that I have been involved in and if I have a client and child abuse comes up I shall refer them on to a specialist in the area as I truly believe that one is required and I am not the specialist in this area
I do think however that simply the fact she has brought this up and is talking about it is a great thing to have happened and the fact that you are with her in feeling for her is a good thing on your behalf I would guess that at the moment it is not you that she doesn't trust but more herself at picking who she can trust - she has just let herself down with predator om - she probably feels she should have known and instead she believed him
she is sleeping in the same bed as you that is a huge step for her and shows she trusts you to cuddle and nothing else just yet
She learned a lot of self-protective behaviours in her younger years and then allowed you in even after she got frightened initially
She is moving forward slowly - and I can see you are not hurrying this process up at all which is good - let her take the lead and set the pace the counsellor does indeed sound like a very good one
and Nicola I would say that your h didn't know what to do/say/or how to respond and so did what a lot of people do acted like nothing had happened but couldn't quite pull it off - which to you made it seem like he didn't believe you
I think you are doing really well Frank and by the way I bought 'shall we dance' and watched it last night I love the part where (towards the end) Gere says that he loved his wife he was just unhappy with his own life and didn't want to share his unhappiness with her
and of course the best bit was where he turned up at her work with a rose
if anyone can get through this you can - you have come through so much already and really understand your w much more than she realises at the moment - though I am sure she is now beginning to see it
