Frank, we are in the exact same place. Have you kept up with my sitch? My W told me the same thing on Friday night, that our life was passionless and boring and she needed more passion and less boredom.
I have been spending the last couple weeks trying to figure out just how to DO what she wants done, especially since, like your W, she can't tell me what she wants me to DO.
As usual, I think this is another of those times when they think that if they actually TELL us what to do, then it makes it less valuable or interesting to them. In some ways I get it because one of the things they are looking for in us, that they THINK they had with OM is that sense of connectedness and when we demonstrate that we can stir those passions in them without a script, it's powerful for them.
The good news is that your W saw a demonstration of how it can be "created" in that movie (which, BTW, W and I saw both the original and the re-make. The original is much better) and I hope she will be open to any attempt you make.
One of the strongest feelings I have and becca (i think it was her) stated it is that how come our W's get to sit back and just wait for us to find the magic button? I suppose it's more of the same we have faced thus far in being the only ones trying to rebuild the marriage. I don't know, but it is frustrating.
The only thing I can tell you Frank is that I have found a couple things that seem to be working with my W, similar to your W's hair brushing, and as I continue to do these things, unasked, she seems to be warming up to me. I guess, try to identify the little things that give your W small moments of passionate feeling and build on those.
