I must confess, I haven't read all of your thread and I hope I'm on the right track here but I wanted to share with you. I'm on my second marriage. I left and pursued the D with my first H for what sounds like the same reasons you're writing about. I felt for years, ugly, a mom with no life other than work, taking care of kids, laundry, etc. Then when my kids reached their teenage years and didn't need me anymore, I looked around and there was nothing left for me. I began giving myself a tune up and looked GREAT, right before I left my H. Now fast forward 10 years, I've remarried to what I thought was the man of my dreams, well 1 1/2 years after we got M, he became involved with a bimbo 20 years younger than him. So you see, it's not "greener" on the other side. Maybe you can share this story with your W. I think she is going through a MLC. If I had it all over to do again, and I have to say, I'm piecing with my current H as I love him very much, but if I could turn back the hands of time, I would have never D my first H. Sure he was self centered and took me for granted for years, but it has been a long, hard struggle. I would have worked on this M rather than working on my current one! I wish I knew then what I know now! I would really like to encourage you to do what you're doing! Show love, show your W your changes. Make them real. Don't go through the motions without sincerity. She sounds like she is needing attention, please continue to give it to her or she will look for it somewhere else. It will be disastereous to your family and believe it or not, even for her. She'll regret it. Don't give up! She is in a dark, confused place right now. IMHO, don't demand anything, just reassure her of your devotion and love for her and your family and you will do anything you can to keep in together.
