I am SO glad to see you doing so well. As always, you're my hero. I see so much similarity in what we are going through right now and for once, I think that's a good thing.
Quote: Realistically, I think she IS afraid she's missing something. She feels 'attractive' now and thinks that she is getting more attention from men because of this. she doesn't want to be 'stuck' in the boring, mundane life of the married mom. I almost feel that if someone asks her out she'd be gone in a heartbeat. It just hasn't happened yet.
I understand this completely. I feel the same way. My W has now experienced the feeling of being a beautiful, desired woman again (not that she hasn't always been but I didn't appreciate it nearly enough) and there is that little voice that says it's only a chance meeting away from being another affair. In my sitch, and probably yours, I think that's where the entire family "package" works to our advantage. Sure, they need to be married to us because they love us, feel love by us and want to be with us, but the reality is that there is a lot more to us than just our individual selves. We come with kids, a house, cars, etc, all things that belong to W as well, and things that they have built, nurtured and enjoyed over the years with us.
Yes, all those things CAN be negatives, but as you said, our W's are starting to realize that they either forgot all the positives or just didn't appreciate them before. Now that WE have changed, it removed a HUGE negative that was tainting the whole picture for them. With our negative energy gone, they are now free to see all the joy that their lives COULD have with us AND their family.
I really believe that as big a turning point as it was for my W to recognize the changes in my and recommit to our marriage, it was equally as big for her to see her role as mom and wife as something that didn't have to be boring or lacking passion. I THINK my W, and probably yours too, now sees that she projected a lot of negative things that were strictly between US as husband and wife onto the entire family experience.
Frank, I love the way you approach this and I think between your W's new attitude, the book(s) you are reading and this great C you have, things are going to work out.
Have patience. Realize just how far you have come and embrace the future that is limitless.
