Cemar, You will have to ask her to stop saying, Let's take care of you.
She doesn't know that you don't like it. She doesn't know a LOT about your true sexual self but that doesn't make her a bad person, just blind.
I would look at it like this: Perhaps she views you as extremely inconsiderate for leaving your ice cream dish on the coffee table, instead of in the dishwasher. She *could* take it as a personal attack on her, or she could say, Dang that Cemar when is he gonna remember to put in in the dishwasher?? and try various tactics until something clicks with you.
How would you like her to respond to you? With resentment or with clear, direct language? Most men I know want to be told exactly what to do and when to do it--even if they are not necessarily planning on following through with it. Women are the same. You must plan, sometime, on telling her what you like and dislike about your sex life and then plan on doing it again. You will have to get past your own conflict avoidance in order to make progress. As obvious as it is to HD people like myself and you, it ISN'T obvious to her that you don't find it sexy to hear "let's take care of you". In fact, I'd avoid the whole Make Her Toes Curl part of ML altogether for a while. I know you enjoy it, blah blah, but it's not contributing to the progress so why keep doing it? It's causing resentment so maybe you could eliminate it for a while? Of course, the best scenario would be to eliminate it and find a way to *lovingly* tell her why this is.
I truly feel for you, I really do. However, no one can read minds. Human nature is a weird thing and talking to your wife one time 2 years ago is not going to cut it. You've got to plan on doing this often--the results are worth it. If for NOTHING else than you will be able to hold your head high, as a man who is true to himself and who he is.
