Okay, I got a little more insite into what my wifes position is. We had a brief R talk and she feels that I've completely dominated her our entire marriage. That I made all her decisions, left her out of things like money issues and that it made her feel small and insignificant. I tried to explain why I made the money decisions and taht I had no idea that I was dominating her in that way. Really it wasn't a mean to keep her under control or keep secrets from her....the nature of my job just made it easier for me to control moeny because I always knew how much I needed to make based on what bills needed payed.
It seems that her main thing now is a need to feel independent. I really don't know how she's going to do that. She still depends onme for alot, taking the kids so she can work, paying the mortage and the car payment, helping when she needs gas. The idea that she felt dominated by me is really new information for me, I had no idea she felt like that...so I told ehr taht I think at soem point, and she can say when, that we need to sit down and discuss things...maybe there' other things I didn't realize and can explain why I did it. She said it doesn't matter, she doesn't want to talk about the past...she wants to talk about the future(a future apart).
She clearly needs to be independent, but how do I do help her do that without her falling on her face?
