Guy, you keep asking things like "Why does she do xxx, or say yyy if she's really done?" Well, it's because she isn't really done. They never are if they're still talking to you, still live in the same state, etc. Even THEN, it's never really over. That's the point of DB, to understand that what your W is going through is likely temporary and in order for her to "see the light" you have to actually turn them on for her.
Stop being constantly surprised when she seems interested in what you're doing. You act like you actually BELIEVE the stuff she's been saying to you. Remember the most often repeated of the DB/MLC/WAS ideals...believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see.
You KNOW it's not "over" at least until you actually D, and even at that point, it's not REALLY over until you let it be. I'm not suggesting you become a stalker or something but you just need to understand that these things take time, and YES, if you were to maintain these changes and do it for YOU so that she didn't feel like HER status in your life could affect the core man you've become, then she COULD decide to take another run at the marriage. So long as she sees you as doing all this "for her" she may not trust you enough to try again. That's why it's SO important to be doing this for YOU and not her.
As for the reenlisting bit, that's up to you, and not her right now. I think you are right to think that way and if it's what you want to do, go for it. If she has a problem with it, she can talk to you. Otherwise, she'll just have to miss you those weekends and weeks...lol.
