Quote: Should I not be trying to compliment her. It is meant to be a 180 for me, I just really can't afford to do anything counter productive now.
This is tough, and I struggled with this too. I still do.
I always did complement my W so my issue was not quite the same. Mine was giving gifts, which addresses my W's primary Love Language (as far as I can tell) but like you, I didn't want to be seen as trying to BS my way back into her good graces.
I think you determine what you do by how YOU feel about it. Do YOU want to do these things? Would you say this to her if you were single and saw her? Is it pure compliment or is it laced with inuendo or an element of desperation?
My point is that if you are truly just doing a 180 that you expect to keep up no matter what, if you're with her or anyone else, then keep doing it just make sure you're not taking it too far. For example, in my case, I realized that I really loved giving my W gifts but for whatever reason, I stopped long ago. So, I started getting her little things. Flowers and the like. I didn't think this was too out of bounds but I stopped short of anything more because I thought THAT would be seen as a bribe.
It's a fine line, among a thousand fine lines we live on these days. You just need to strike that balance and forgive yourself if you slip a bit.
