Part of making it past certain parts of this is understanding what you have to make it past. You now know that you need to be able to talk to your W without starting or being drawn into a fight with her. You need to learn how and when to walk away before you start saying things you will regret later.
One of the most helpful things to understand is that just because SHE starts saying those things does not mean YOU have to. A great thing to remember is that you want to get your marriage back, NOT be right all the time. So, when she starts in on you about this, that, or the other thing, simply say "I understand you feel xxxx xx x xxx xxx but I don't agree. I would love to talk to you more about it some other time when we are both more calm." Validate, then get out before it turns into an emotion driven conversation, at least from your side.
Look, as RB said, we all slip up, and most of the time it's because we are faced with something that we don't quite recognize, or address as a trigger. For me, today, it's the evidence I have been thinking about in my sitch and also dealing with the fact that I need to do something in my sitch that I have not done in months, initiate a R talk and TRY to have it go well rather than degrade into a fight...and I have been doing this a lot longer than you.
I still struggle daily. Until this is TRULY over and I am back in a 100% committed relationship with my W, I will struggle with this. We all will.
Don't worry, you WILL have other chances. Like OT just said to me, everything in this process does not hinge upon the last 72 hours.
