Today I actually had a good day. I had the kids after school and my W took a little longer to get them cause she went after groceries. She said that she'd pick me up a few things. I thought about giving her a list of things I might need/want, but I didn't instead I figured I'd take whatever she got and just appreciate it. The best thing is she got me almost everything that would have been on the list. I was very appreciative and thanked her, I let her know that she got all the things i could have wanted and she just chuckled "I have been buying you food for 8 years"
Also yesterday I dropped the kids off at her house and noticed a card that I gave her a few days ago was displayed on the counter. Maybe these are good signs maybe I'm wishfull thinking but it does help to see little things like this. It makes the things I have to do much easier.
Thank you all for your responses and your help. I have been most of the problem in this R but I'm trying to turn things around. thank you.
