Quote: I am very ashamed that I have allowed myself to act this way. I know that I have a huge struggle ahead of me and last weeks episode only made it worse
Yes you did make it worse, But don't dwell on that. It over, and as Donlee said you need to chill out. Listen, this is probably going to take some time, Your M did not break overnight so it is not going to be fixed overnight.
You need to get help for yourself, do some serious soul searching and begin to make the changes in you that need to happen. Don't expect 2 weeks of doing the right thing is going to fix years of damage.
Quote: I wish there were more activ things I could do. I created this problem but feel helpless to fix it.
there is alot you can do, 1. give her space, don't press her, no more angry outburst, no threats, no spying. 2. you need to work on yourself to make a lasting change in you, for you. Don't try and tell your W about your changes. Show her when you have the chance. The proof is in your actions. 3. you are going to have to understand this may take some time. A good rule of thumb around here is 1 month of change is needed for every year of M.
Come her often and post, get IC, read as many books as possible.
