Here's a brief history on my situation. We've been together about 8 years...married all but six months of that. We have three kids, two together and our oldest was about 18 months when we met. I have been a complete A@@ the whole time we've been together. I treated her like crap from almost day one, yet she stuck around. I had a one nite stand before we got married but she never found out until we were married for maybe two years. She says she would have never married me had she known, I can't say i blame her. Since then I have heard constant rumors about her doing things behind my back, and I have turned into a miserable tyrant. Most of the time these rumors are from less than credible sources but I keep dwelling on them. In July, I checked her phone and found what I thought was proof that she was cheating...she's always been able to explain these things yet I keep looking for "proof". Anyway on this night I woke her out of a dead sleep by kicking the bed and basically dragging her out of bed. We immediatly seperated, I moved into my parents. She is now scared to death of me. However, I moved back in, But things still weren't right so about 4 weeks ago I moved out again. Then the other day I finally hit rock bottom when I went over there and we fought, I got mad...punched a cabinet...broke my hand.
Now I'm afraid that she has interest in someone else. She says no, but I can't shake the feeling. It physically makes me sick to think about it. I've already started changing myself. I've tried to become more outgoing and less intrusive upon her. I've started reading DB and it has opened my eyes quite a bit. My major problems are patience and the fear that she will move on while I'm changing myself. Any thoughts or suggestions?
