Oh, and more idle speculation. I'm really curious to see whether or not OM repays W the money he owes her with his military pay. A single guy in the military really doesn't need to spend any money, so he certainly should be able to, but I'm guessing that he won't and that will be the thing that finally changes W's opinion of him.
Again ... wild speculation.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
I wanted to explain a little more why a divorce would be so difficult in my case.
My family is horribly racist. When I married a woman who was half-Asian, my own family completely disowned me (as I knew they would), and I haven't seen them since except at my grandfather's funeral.
In some ways, I didn't consider it much of a loss. My W's family really "adopted" me as a son. They didn't just consider me the guy who was married to their daughter, because they knew that I was giving up my family to be with her. I call my in-laws Mom and Dad and really view them that way. I call my W's aunts and uncles "Aunt X" and "Uncle Y". They are my family now. I'm sure that I'm the only person on these boards with a WAS who is living with his in-laws, but it doesn't feel strange to me at all.
All that would mean that my W would "be around" an awful lot in my life even after a divorce. Since her parents would continue to see me as a son, I'd basically end up with my W as a sister. How in the world could I deal with that, and how could I even conceive of then marrying someone else and bringing a new wife into such a mixed-up situation?
This is one of several things that forced me back onto the DB train.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Saturday is our 6th wedding anniversary, and my relatives are going out of town (ironically, for a wedding). It's going to be a lonely weekend. I will see W that day, though, as she's agreed to help with D4 since I have to work.
Should I even say "Happy Anniversary" or maybe even get her a card? She's still living with the OM, even if he is joining the army. I think it will be a day of guilt for her, no matter what I do. Getting her a real present or trying to take her to dinner would probably only add to that guilt, so I'm not going to do that.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Never mind about the card -- not going to do it or even recognize the day as being any different from any other day. I might but a card, though, in case she decides to give me one.
Anniversaries have always been a big deal for us, so it's really going to feel weird.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Hi RB, Our 6th anniversary will be in July, and I am already trying to figure out what would or would not be appropriate if we are still in the sitch we are in now Ironically, I have invited H to travel with me every year because my work calls me away every year at our anniversary time. He has never come with me. And now, this is the FIRST year since we've been married that I will be home on the day. However, H's birthday is coming up in June, which I have always made a big deal about. I have decided to ask H if he wants me to make plans around his b-day as I have in the past, or not. That way it is at least his choice. In some ways my H is feeling like he wants more of me around lately so he might want me to make plans. Anyway do you think you could ask your W if she wants to celebrate it in any way, or would even mentioning the anniversary be too much pressure/guilt for her?
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
Ironically, I have invited H to travel with me every year because my work calls me away every year at our anniversary time. He has never come with me. And now, this is the FIRST year since we've been married that I will be home on the day. 
However, H's birthday is coming up in June, which I have always made a big deal about. I have decided to ask H if he wants me to make plans around his b-day as I have in the past, or not. That way it is at least his choice. In some ways my H is feeling like he wants more of me around lately so he might want me to make plans. Anyway do you think you could ask your W if she wants to celebrate it in any way, or would even mentioning the anniversary be too much pressure/guilt for her?