I've been following your sitch for a while and you sure have been through the wringer. If you can successfully embrace and sustain the attitude I quoted above, you will do well. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever.
You are a great person and father. Your W is...well..to put it mildly..an idiot, but she can't see that at the moment.
You know FOR SURE, W and OM won't last. That's a given. Many people here on this forum don't have the benefit of that information, you do.
One other thing and this is my view only. At the time your W kicked out OM and about the time you were thinking about the 6 week deal thing, man you were pushing way too hard. Again, this is just my opinion. It sounded to me like you were combining control, guilt and pressure under the guise of being a friend. I know it's all well and good saying this with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight but take a moment to re-read your postings and take careful note of how you were trying to manipulate the situation.
By saying this and by challenging you to look a little deeper within yourself, I am hoping that the outcome of this is that you are able to embrace and engender the mantra that you have set for yourself....Whatever happens, happens.
Your postings are all too focused on what your W is up to, where she is staying, what she is doing etc, etc, etc. I am so glad that you are taking a well earned vacation but I suspect that even though you will having a great time with your D, there will be times when your thoughts turn to less pleasant matters.
My advice to you is when you find your mind wandering, shutting the thoughts out is fruitless, particulary when such hurtful deeds have been commited. So rather than allowing your thoughts to focus on the history (which is always a huge downer), force yourself, not to block the thought but to change them to focus on possible future events. Give yourself permission to consider future discussions with your W, give yourself permission to consider a future without her, give yourself permission to consider any dream that you want to dream.
It is in my experience that the worst thoughts are the one's where you try to replay the past in your mind in a seemingly fruitless task of finding out what went wrong. It's a no win situation as well as f*ucking with your PMA. Thoughts of the future have enabled me to process the sadness of what could have been way better because honestly, your future starts right now. The past is irrelevant now.
Your W is sure one mixed fruit cookie. She know's what she wants but can't bring herself to focus on it. That is so sad that a human being's brain can be so scrambled and what they say that it's got nothing to do with you, is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
You have your daughter. Maybe it's time, if you can do it, to let your W completely go and let God take care of it as He has always done.
Have a great time away.
Suit
P.S. I so totally agree with your advice not to make up sexual fantasies that include your W. I used to do this and ended up believing she was an angel and I was the villan. Since I stopped making up fantasies, I believe the opposite of that to be true but those fantasies have to stop. It's all part of letting go.
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
