I am also away on a trip, and couldn't stay away. Glad to see you have checked in, and are doing well. A little fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for one's perspective. I wanted to acknowledge you for deciding to clear up lingering issues with your mother. I believe that having a clearing with one's mother helps a man be clearer in his relationships with the other important women in his life. It could be that if you are present to the fact that your mother's rejection is not about you (and actually has nothing to do with you), that it will help you clear the space even further for reconcilliation with your wife. I wish you all the best in that exploration, as I know from experience that these things are not always easy.
I also really appreciated what you said:
Quote: It's weird, but I'm now much more determined to be faithful to my W than I ever was before
I am 100% with you on this. I was surprised how initially I was freaked about being alone, and I even felt sexually "hungry" as soon as I found out about my H's affair. I met a man within a month (who was actually playing the part of my H in a film my daughter was directing!) and he was really attractive to me. I got clearly and immediately that the outcome of my marriage is up to me. I am committed to my marriage and have found additional strength in realizing that there are 1000 + choices out there, but I only have one H and one marriage. I will do NOTHING that will jeopardize that now, if I can help it. I have already seen enough of what I did do to get us here, and have enough work to do on myself in addressing my behaviors, I don't need to add any more mud to the mix.
I wish you safe travels and will look forward to further updates. Take good care of your self!
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
