W31, OM20, part II

[RBinBR]

OK, W and D are going to spend the night at friend's house after all. They are all bowling right now. Friend reports that she is "very encouraged" by her conversations with W today.

I called W to tell her that I would be leaving on Wednesday, and she said "OK" in just a chipper, happy fashion.

It's strange, but my leaving for a couple of weeks may be the best OM prevention that there is. It will give W the opportunity to completely enjoy Easter, her sister's return, etc. without worrying about my being there, my current no contact policy, etc. Since she clearly hasn't done so yet, W is not going to invite OM back while she has the complete responsibility of taking care of D, because she never wanted D to meet OM.

Meanwhile, W will get to see what I've been experiencing the last 3 months ... what it's like to be a single parent. She'll get to reconnect with D (which is good), and she'll also get to experience what it's like to cook every meal, give every bath, and take and pick up D from school every day.

And I can tell you that the whole time, D will be asking her mommy about when daddy is coming back, and if we are all going to Disneyworld together, etc. Without even trying, D is going to be my strongest advocate, because D and I have grown so close over the last few months.

W will miss me anyway. The times in the past that I have had to be gone on business, she's worried herself sick over me. She'll be wondering where I am and what I am doing and worrying about me on the road.

Of course, the #1 reason for me to get away is that I've been a nervous wreck this last week. I thought that going to no contact would help me like it did before, but it really hasn't. When I did no contact before, I knew what the story was -- she was with OM and I could deal with that. Now, I don't know where she is emotionally or spiritually, and it's been driving me bonkers. During these two weeks, I going to get the peace and strength to deal with whatever sitch I find when I get back.