Sorry for the down time. I know how you feel. It's a double edged sword because not only does what they do hurt, but the fact that it DOES hurt, hurts too because it tells us we are not as "ok" or detached as we thought we were.
I wish I could tell you something better than hang in there but I can't this part, where they seem to want to come back but don't really know how (Frank is going through this too on the "separated" board) is the hardest part because I think this part, more than the rest, does not really go by the book. Sure, there are universal things we can do to stay sane and try to understand them, win them over, etc, but by and large, this is a "feel" thing that is different in each sitch. My W could want me to be aggressive in pursuit. Frank's W could want confirmation that she'll still have space in their marriage. Your W could just need the confusion of the OM gone to see the light.
I know we debated the role of different philosophies yesterday but I think NOW is the time for you & I to really reach out to find help in dealing with the uncertainty we are facing. I know you have not only your knowledge, but your faith and I think both will serve you well here.
Accept the pain, know that it stems from you choosing to do something VERY difficult and that in the end, you will grow and be better for it.
I have been thinking about you. I know it is sometimes so difficult to stay positive, and not to get discouraged. But I need to tell you that everything I am seeing here looks promising. I think your wife is VERY addicted to the OM, knows it isn't good for her, and is trying to find her way home to herself and to you and your marriage. I encourage you to think of all of her actions as an attempt to find her way back home. I know you are a spiritual man. Higher power is guiding this, and she is in good hands. Just picture her becoming free and clear in her thoughts. Set aside the hurt right now, and visualize your wife's healing and coming home to you. She is in her process of healing.
Meanwhile, work on yourself! What are you going to do today that will make you happy?
Sending loving thoughts your way....
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
Well, the word that I am getting is that W is still making progress, but that she is still talking to OM. We'll see. I don't think she can make much progress while she is still talking to him, but our friend seems confident.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
First of all, thanks for stopping by my thread RB.
I just wanted to offer you a "hang in there." In that your mutual friend seems confident of a positive resolution, is something more than I ever had....
I hope the positive signs you've been getting pan out.
Another night with W at friend's house instead of her apartment -- very good.
W asked friend to lunch today, but friend (who works at our church) was already going with several coworkers because of a coworker B-day, so they invited W to join them and she did.
W called this evening to talk to D4. D told her she loved her and then said "Mommy you need to come live with Daddy again." I believe W thought that I put her up to it, but I didn't -- that was just a 4-year-old voicing her position. Amazing.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
I just wanted to say, I don't always post much, but I am following along. I'm glad your W has a friend helping her thru this.
It is amazing the things that the kids come up with. Mine have done the same thing...bless their little hearts.
Do yo have anything planned for you & D, to get your mind off your sitch, for the weekend? Take a breather, RB. Do something fun for you! It will do wonders for your PMA.
Thanks, NM. Unfortunately, I work on weekends right now, but that's going to change soon.
Anyway, D said today that "Mommy's still coming with us to Disneyworld." It wasn't a question; it was a declaration of fact. That girl has every intention of holding her mommy to the promise she made Saturday to come with us.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
I'm planning on May 1-6 with the first and last days being travel days, since it's about a 12 hour drive. It would be great to meet you, but I don't know if W is coming yet, and so I can't really plan something without knowing if she is coming and how she would feel about it.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Well, today wanted to spend the night with D4, so she picked her up and took her to the apartment. They are going to make cookies and D is reportedly excited by the slumber party. W now seems to be done staying at her friend's house.
I don't know what to think now. Is she back at apartment because she's decided to invite OM back and she's going to enjoy a night with D4 before he gets back? Or is it the opposite? Is she now "over" the OM enough to feel comfortable staying in her apartment again without being overcome by the memories of OM?
I've asked my company if I can work at another location out of state for a couple of weeks. I'd like to just get away, let W take care of D, and put all this out of mind for a while.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
