Well, the pendulum appears to be dramatically swinging my way again. The friend from church that I mentioned met W today. They went to lunch and (from what I have learned so far) a lot of walls came tumbling down. W wanted to stay with her, so she is over at her friend's house right now.
Apparently, they took steps so that OM cannot call her anymore. I don't know if she changed her cell phone number or what, but that is the best possible news.
W is supposedly going to stay there a couple of days before she does anything else, but her friend told me that she thinks it is truly over between W and OM.
I'm just praying today. I had a certification test today, and I'm pretty sure I passed, but I now have a pretty good idea of how hard it is for students with ADD, because I kept tuning out of my test.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
It's good your W is with a friend - she's going to need that comfort to help her thru this. It's not something that YOU are going to be able to help her with, since you are part of the puzzle.
RB, you've come a long way...continue to be patient. Your correct in giving your W the space she needs.
Amazing. I opened your thread to read, and as it was opening I went to grab my breakfast. I thought to myself, it is really a problem that your W is apparently bouncing back and forth between you and OM as if it she has to be with one of the two of you to keep at least one of you happy, when what she probably really needs right now is space from both of you. Some period of time *alone* where she learns that it is a real option for her to be by herself so that she can really *choose* to be with you.
So, I think this is really wonderful news -- it seems a step toward her really taking care of herself and extracting herself from this mess. And, once she gets that sense of freedom and independence, she may just come around to choosing you before too long.
Yes, OT. She absolutely needed to be away from both OM and me, though I didn't really realize it until she went to her friend's. This weekend, I was only a constant reminder of how she had failed me and how much she really loved OM. But she really didn't need to be "alone" because that's not good for her either, especially at her apartment with all OM's stuff all around as a reminder of their love.
I didn't want her to choose between me and OM. I wanted her to submit her life to Christ and choose to do his will and follow him. Yes, the effect is the same, but it's completely different for what it means inside her. That is what I believe she is doing right now, according to what her friend briefly told me yesterday.
I have a tremendous peace inside me today. Friday night, I was joyful at the thought of my W's returning. After what I went through this weekend, what I feel today is simply relief. Thank you, Lord.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Did I just write earlier that I was at peace? I'm really a nervous wreck. My W is working today, going to several appointments, and she will have plenty of opportunities to pick up her phone and call OM. I've been praying all day that she resists the urge, and I really think she will, from what her friend told me yesterday. At least her stuff is still at her friend's house (and not back at her apartment). I know that she'll make it if she can endure the next few days.
I want so badly to talk to her, but I'm going to stick to my plan to have no contact until she's been completely free of OM for a week. I want her missing me a little while she's missing the OM, and I also don't think I could handle any more drama right now.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Well, my W is still at the friend's house tonight. That's really good, because if she goes back to her apartment, it would probably mean that she invited the OM back. So, the little that I know tonight is good. The fact that she's still there means that she probably resisted the urge to call him.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
OK, I just figured out what's really been eating at me and why I got so upset on Sunday.
When my W told me that she was inviting OM back, she said that she was going to do it with "an understanding," (which she had never done before) that they would get married if they could stay together the two years until a D from me was possible.
She clearly didn't think that would happen, as this was right after (part of the same conversation) she rejected the 5-week offer, because she didn't want to get divorced.
In other words, she didn't really believe that it would work between her and OM, but she wanted to give him the chance. She was afraid of being alone and wanted to keep her marriage with me as backup when it failed with OM.
All this, of course, was only 36 hours after telling OM that it was over and packing him up and sending him to his mom's house in Florida to live.
Sunday evening, part of my despair was that I seemed to have lost ground through the weekend as a whole. While before she was simply shacking up with OM, now she was planning to have "an understanding" (basically an engagement) with him.
Now, of course, I think that she's back to ending it with the OM, but I'm really troubled by the fact that she was seriously planning a marriage to him on Sunday.
It hurts, and there's no denying it.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
