What do you like about your wife? What was it like in those early days, when you were dating?
Wow, Corri.. where do I start? There are so many reasons..
I loved her independance, I loved the fact that despite all the adversity she had gone through, she was so dedicated, religious and grounded. I loved that she didn't need family close by and that she was comfortable with herself on her own (I am divorced and in my first marriage had a lot of problems with meddling in-laws so this was a huge plus for me) I loved that she didn't view me as a defective for being divorced. She felt that our past made us who we are and she never judged me for being a divorced guy. She also loved my two, then very young kids and the kids loved her. I loved her beauty, her job, I loved that while she had standards and morals, when it came to the two of us and our intimate time together, she was... alot of fun! Very into intamcy, very much wanting to please.. said she expected to initiate way more than I even would (seemed hard to believe!)
My ex-wife had been abused as a child, came to grips with that during our marriage and that sent her into a deep depression that killed all desire. So even the first marriage had deep sexual problems. So when I met my current wife and saw how willing she was to take care of me in that department.. I was all over it. But the sex wasn't like THE issue, it was just one of the MANY things that I loved.
Sooo, Cory.. I answered Ze question, what is the theory?
Lil, I just finished 3 months of counseling on my own. My wife knew I was going, but she insisted while I was there that I work on improving myself. She got angry at the thought of us spending our time speculating about her. The counselor helped me alot at first and then in later sessions all he could do was wig out at the thought that my wife wouldn't want to see him (I guess counselors cannot comprehend people that don;t find them valuable). He'd spend the whole session just asking about her and why she wouldn't come. He became obsessed with the whole idea and I couldn't pull him off of it. I finally got annoyed by spending $60 an hour to just have him puzzle over why my wife wouldn't come with me. I wanted real answers as to how to deal with her, and his only real answer seemed to be "get her here" which at the time wasn't an option. So I stopped going. I am now looking into finding a female counselor in the area. I just can't see my wife opening up to a male, and definately not to the one I was seeing!!! So I am exploring options.
