Your wife not being willing to do very simple things (give you a hug when you come home) nor bigger things (like have your parents for a visit), both of which are reasonable and very important to you . . . is unacceptable.
You need to call her on her b.s. When she brings up the whole "model" thing, get her off of this red herring by saying "I understand you didn't see a lot of that growing up, but really, do you really need an 'instruction manual' to give your husband a HUG when he comes home? Or do you just not WANT to do it?"
Hate to sound pessimistic, but I really don't see a lot of hope here.
