What Happened with the Schnarch Movement???

[MJontheMend]

Intellectually, I understand this. So, what do people mean when they ask 'why do you put up with it?' What are you gonna do about it? Like right now for instance. H is ignoring me. I'd love to 'not put up with it' to show him that 'he can't treat me this way'. But how?

I have to tell you that I am far from really "getting" this whole idea of boundaries myself but IMO it is more a matter of how you emotionally react to a situation or behavior from your spouse rather than anything you do or say. For instance, in my sich I used to put up with too much disrespectful behavior from my H. I let this kind of behavior hurt me or make me feel angry so I would react pathetically or defensively. Now I regard disrespectful behavior from my H in the same way I would regard him if he walked around with snot on his face. It's rather distasteful and shows a lack of awareness on his part but it has very little to do with me unless I choose to stare at it. Therefore, I would suggest that you regard/react toward your H's "ignoring you" in the same way you would sensibly regard/react towards a child who was sulking. It is up to him to choose to either actively engage in a pleasant relationship with you or communicate his needs or negative feelings in an adult manner. Unfortunately, I can not tell you how long he may decide to keep sulking. It seems like some spouses can do it for years. So, if he doesn't choose to stop sulking you may have to decide whether you want to leave.