I'd have to have thick skin to handle the kind of rejection that comes from trying to kiss your H only to have him both reject you AND be pissed.
Maybe in my case, it would be making what I want known, rather than actually doing it? See, these are sort of boundaries that he's created for whatever reason, valid or not. I can't cross his boundaries as easily as he seems able to cross mine. It sounds ridiculous to say, but I'm scared to do it. Not scared he's going to hit me or anything like that. Just emotionally scared.
That is the core problem. He has firm boundaries (whether right or not) and you don't. Look, I've been through the no kissing thing. It sucks. H did not want to kiss me (when we were first starting to reconnect in the M) and I tried to just go for it. Got a stiff-mouthed response back and him coming right out and saying he just didn't feel comfortable. Ok, that's how he felt. So what did I do? I told him I will not work on a R where the man has no interest in kissing me, let alone all the rest. We were separated at this point but trying to still make it work. That was the final straw for me though. Told him flat out I was going to start seeing other people, he said "I understand" and that was that. I told him my firm boundary and when he was ready to sexually reconnect with me (as well as in other ways) then we were both clear on our boundaries and could make a solid effort at the M. The two of you need clearer boundaries, especially on your end. Why are you so scared emotionally to stand up for yourself and your needs?
