* Be brave enough to initiate whenever you feel like it despite the probability that your spouse will say no. If this means every night, then do it every night.
* If your spouse says no, then be calm enough to say..."ok" and quietly go about your business without an annoying convo about it.
* If your spouse says no and tries to punish you for initiating, then have the self-respect to call him/her out for an inappropriate, unloving response...put a mirror up to them. Note: This is where major changes happened in our R.
* Never make it about them - always make it about you but [bold]don't apologize[/bold] for being you.
* Let your unfulfilled desires and feelings put them into the crucible...not those annoying convos.
* Live in the moment. Don't let the past prevent you from taking risks in the present - this preserves the current system and makes it harder to be brave.
For those of you who know my situation, would you say that this applies to me kissing H on the lips? Just do it, but have the thick skin to not freak out if he rejects? Same with sleeping in the bed?
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
