It occurs to me after reading your post that there is another way in which the desire issue is different for HDW as opposed to HDM. If instead of regarding the lack of desire as an insult, you regard the presence of desire as a compliment, most reasonably attractive HDW get compliments from men who are not their husbands quite frequently. This sexual market disequilibrium can be quite unsettling and is probably the reason why,according to survey statistics, marriages in which the W is the HD spouse are much more likely to fail than marriages in which the M is the HD spouse.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
